2008 BMW X3

The BMW X3 is proof that there's an SUV for every taste. So if you have more money than sense, then step right up and get the keys to your new X3.

What is this thing supposed to be? What we have here is BMW's attempt at a small, sporty ute for young, active people. But what we got instead is a little truck that's as useless on road, as it is off road.

Why is it so bad? Well, instead of shock absorbers, BMW used rocks. On even the smoothest pavement, the X3 can find a grain of sand, run over it and send a searing jolt down your spine, spill your hot coffee on you and make you hit your head on the roof. It takes the X3 a mere second to inflict all this misery. Just imagine trying to drive this thing down a rough dirt road. You'd have to stop after only a few feet, call a cab and go check into a pain clinic. The ride is Really that bone-jarring.

If you're fool enough to stray from the pavement, you'll get stuck so fast it'll make your head spin. That is, if you don't hit your head on the roof and give yourself a concussion first. It's astounding that BMW got this one so wrong. The X5 is useless off road, but at least it can cruise the mall parking lot with dignity. The X3 can't even do that! As a practical 'lifestyle vehicle', it has plenty of cargo room...but there's so little legroom in the back that those seats are only comfortable for...a midget with no legs?

Power is adequate, but using all that power could send you to the chiropractor. Add the Sport package with its even stiffer suspension and you'll really hate life. It's really quite amazing how bad this truck is considering it's based on the 3-Series chassis. Even the AWD system's strengths on road are eclipsed by the ride.

If you have to have a BMW SUV, get a used X5. It's much easier to live with and there's a lot more interior room.