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Top five worst-tuned Porsche Cayennes

From Banovsky, Featured Contributor
Posted on June 15, 2009
Filed under SUV, Feature, WTF, Misc, Humor, Porsche, SUV, tuner

The Porsche Cayenne is a pretty nice vehicle if you take it for what it is. In off-road package-equipped form, it can do pretty well in international rally competition. In full-bore Turbo S guise, it can lap racetracks faster than most sports cars.

tuner porsche cayenne

What's not to love? Well, for many (mainly Eastern European) tuners, the allure of having "just another" Cayenne isn't there. So they conceive all manner of awful, awful design "improvements" akin to adding lipstick, makeup, and hair extensions to the Mona Lisa.

Well…the Cayenne was never a Mona Lisa — so you can imagine just how awful these Cayennes are. Click through for the horror!

tuner porsche cayenne

MAFF Tuning Cayenne "Muron"

This Romanian-tuned Cayenne started out admirably, with a jump in horsepower, but will you just look at those House 'O Blinds front grille? Euck! You'd have to be a "Moron"… [via]
tuner porsche cayenne

Porsche Cayenne Limousine

Are we the only ones thinking this looks like a wiener dog on wheels? It's an American special, too, judging by the New York State plates. Coming to a tasteless wedding near you… [via]
tuner porsche cayenne

Touareg "Millionaire Cayenne"

There's not much to go on here, but apparently it's actually a Volkswagen Touareg made to "look" like a Porsche Cayenne. Well, after a few hits of LSD, I'm sure it does… Oh, and it's another Russian special. [via]
tuner porsche cayenne

Status Design Cayenne

This Cayenne fails for one reason: It's trying too hard. Like showing up at a paintball match in full S.W.A.T. team gear, this Russian-tuned Porsche has more scoops, flaps, LEDs, and wings than a whole grid at Le Mans. [via]
tuner porsche cayenne

Volga Cayenne

Comrade! Your transport has arrived! If the Soviets had conquered the world, and somehow managed to re-make Porsche in a communist sort of way, this is probably what every rich, drunk celebrity would be driving around in, "Stalin'" the spotlight… [via]

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Banovsky is a featured contributor for vLane.
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Displaying 1-1 of 1 comment
  • Flag
    From Derek Kreindler
    Commented on June 19, 2009

    The Volga needs better vinyl and deep dish wheels, otherwise Nyet.

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