Things My Dad Taught Me About Driving
From LesleyB, Featured Contributor
Posted on June 12, 2008
Filed under Advice , Humor

- If you run out of gas, don't call me. Call your mother.
- If you get caught driving under the influence, don't call me or your mother because both of us will kill you. You'll be safer in jail.
- If you crash this car we're not getting another one so don't even think about it.
- Choose the radio station before you start driving and leave it. I don't care if it's on a commercial.
- Do not let me catch you in the backseat of this car with a boy.
- Keep your eyes on the road. You do not need to know what other people are doing in their cars.
- Don't run over things that are lying in the road, particularly something that looks like it's just a paper bag.
- Look far ahead of you while you're driving, not directly in front of your car.
- Objects in your mirror really are closer than they appear. Quit testing this theory while I'm in the car.
- Don't drive right next to another car. Keep your space.
- I know you are a fantastic driver, but everyone else is an idiot.
I'm sure there are some that I've forgotten. What did your dad tell you about driving?
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LesleyB is a featured contributor for vLane.
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Comments for this article
Displaying 1-40 of 40 comments
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FlagFrom Stergios
Commented on June 13, 2008If I recall correctly, may dad's only comments to me about driving were: "You cannot drive my car. I am not buying you a car. and I am not paying for your insurance." Other than that, he was in full support of my driving! Σ' αγαπώ μπαμπάς!
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 13, 2008My dad's advice was 'Immediately scratch your mother's car. That way it's done and over with, and you won't get yelled at, because I told you to do it.'
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 13, 2008My dad always told me not to try and take the top off on my car (btw it was a ford escort). And also that no boy is allowed in the front seat if I'm in the front seat, same goes for back seat. Don't ever be in a hurry, that's when you make mistakes and accidents happen (my only accident occurred when I was running late for work).
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 13, 2008My dad told me, when learning 'we don't need to dual controls. if you do something wrong, i'll just punch you in the head'
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 13, 2008my dad used to sit in the passenger seat with a can of beer or a glass of wine and tell me, "Now don't get pulled over, I'm drinking."
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 13, 2008My mom used to tell me.. I'm not scared of you.. I'm scared of the others
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 13, 2008my dad told me one rule to driving, and its very true,
"Stay between the big, green lines."
(not quite as effective in winter, ive found, though)
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FlagFrom Kate
Commented on June 13, 2008Mine gave me two driving rules: First, don't hit anyone. Secondly, don't let anyone hit you. And after that it's all style points.
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 13, 2008Driving would be easy if everyone else did what they were supposed to do. When driving at night, watch the line on the right if oncoming headlights blind you.
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 13, 2008Get on the freeway like you mean it.
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 13, 2008Better to be wrong than dead right.
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 14, 2008Things my dad told me:
The right pedal is go, the left pedal is stop. Scratch my car and die.
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 14, 2008Women can't drive.
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 14, 2008hey baby, ill show you how to drive
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FlagFrom FrankFrank E
Commented on June 14, 2008The grooves on the side of Interstate 5 are to wake you up if your coffee has worn off...or to !@ off your children. Whichever suits you...
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 14, 2008Remember first time I got my car, old man told me "This car is a necessity not luxury" judging from the old man's limited English, I was really surprised but glad I got one nonetheless.
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 14, 2008actually it was to my brother:
DO NOT TURN YOUR FACE AROUND TO LOOK BEHIND YOU. YOU DO IT AGAIN, YOU WILL SEE MY HAND CLOSER THAN IT APPEARS.
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 14, 2008Turn your blinker on BEFORE you slow down
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 14, 2008Dad always said: "Be back...before you're 11", notice the word "you're". I was 9 when he told me this.
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 14, 2008Ah cool, retard nation is taught driving by their kin. What a genius system. Change it. You all suck at driving. I have not seen so much incompetence behind the wheel as I did in the USA and Canada. Well, except maybe in the Netherlands.
Just adopt our system of driving schools. No retarded L or N or whatever the hell you have, just 10 hours of theoretical training, 30 hours of practical training by a professional and a hard test at the end. That prepares you for traffic. Not learning all the errors and mistakes your parents do, all that will do is help you keep up the low level of driving skill in your country.
No wonder you have a speed limit of 55 mph or so.
Hailing from Germany, Thomas
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 14, 2008FYI Thomas, your immaculate driving training is actually what the majority of the US requires...to get a drivers permit. Meaning for the next year they require an adult in the front seat while driving. THEN you take a driving test with the DMV. Then you get your license. 1. Don't be so quick to judge an entire nation. 2. When you do judge, don't be an arrogant prick.
Thank you,please come again!
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 15, 2008Well, I thought that's how the internet works - being arrogant pricks.
I must admit I am not very familiar with the US system, but my I spend 1 1/2 years in Canada with my family; during said time my brother worked on his drivers license. He has to pass a theoretical test, and then gets an 'L' permit - allowing him to drive with another driver over the age of 25 present. There are some restriction, as to how many persons he may carry, how fast he may drive etc.
During this time, he is supposed to learn everything from my dad - and that doesn't really work, my dad isn't that great a driver. Then he has to pass a test and will get a 'N' license, with which he can drive alone - but still has restrictions.
This happens to everyone, so the average driver in Canada (at least in my area) is a bad one - mainly visible through unnecessary traffic jams.
I feel that the people in Germany just know basic techniques, such as avoiding traffic jams, or correctly merging two lanes, far better then the Canadians. And as far as I know (but that was 10 years ago, when I lived in Detroit) the US system is similar. Maybe that changed, or maybe it changes from state to state, but the system of parents teaching their children is an incredibly bad one.
Thomas
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 15, 2008On a more serious note - I was given two pieces of advice that have saved my butt twice. I learned how to drive in a Suburban (I come from a very large family, so before you start criticizing, remember that this suburban was usually carring 6 to 10 passengers - with that many people, the suburban was much more efficient than transporting all of us with several smaller cars)
Anyway, the advice is fairly simple with a bit of practice. When you approach a red light, stop sign, or brake lights, the hardest you should press on the brake pedal should be the earliest in the stop. After this, you should be continuously backing off the brake pedal, to the point that when you actually stop, your foot should just barely be overcoming the "creep" of the automatic transmission.
The purpose of this is to give you extra time in case of a brake failure. If they are going to fail, they will fail at their highest pressure. By applying the highest pressure at the beginning of your stop, you ensure that if there is a failure, it will happen while you still have the opportunity to steer away from a collision.
This practice has saved me twice in my driving career.
The other practice I developed was to be extremely pessimistic about my ability to brake. In a panic stop, my first instinct is to dive for the shoulder or curb. That way, even if I can't stop, the worst that will happen is that I end up on the shoulder or screw up my alignment. I must have done this a few hundred times in my years of driving, including once on the freeway, when the driver in front of me inexplicably stood on the brakes, and I didn't notice until the last moment.
Let me tell you what - missing a 70mph accident by a matter of inches really gets the adrenaline flowing.
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 15, 2008I learnt to drive on my own. My mother was in the car but she was either pressing on a non existant break or shouting at me. It's not that I was a terrible driver. She's just panicky. In fact she is more likely to have an accident than anyone I know because she will change her mind about what she's doing at the last second. I was in the car last time she had a crash. She turned left from the right hand lane because she couldn't decide whether to turn or go straight ahead. The stupid thing was that it didn't matter, you still end up in the same place.
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 18, 2008If you must speed, don't get caught
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 19, 2008Don't let the driver behind you decide how fast you should be going. It's a lot easier to avoid an accident than to deal with causing one.
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 24, 2008Look all ways always
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 30, 2008If the police are behind you with the red and blue lights on, that means pull over. Don't try to out run em, you can't outrun the radio.......
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on June 30, 2008If you get a speeding ticket, don't call me or your mother. Call your brother he's a cop.........
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on July 3, 2008no cop no stop
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FlagFrom bronx72
Commented on July 4, 2008Stay away from the other cars.
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on July 7, 2008DRIVE DEFENSIVE. I LEARNED THAT STOP SIGNS OUTLINED IN WHITE ARE OPTIONAL, THIS IS AN UNKNOWN LAW THAT WAS PASSED IN THE CONTINENTAL 48 STATES
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on July 9, 2008The deer does not jump out in front of you in the distance. The deer jumps out in front of you right in front of your car!
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on July 9, 2008Cars slide, trucks roll.
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on July 14, 2008Well pardon her for writing an article and not being so politically correct that she forgot to take into account that there are idiots in the world like you who stumbleupon pages on the internet looking for an excuse to tell everybody in the world that all your problems stem from your father leaving. In reality however I'd guess your an attention whore/pathological liar who's looking for apologetic posts because the world dealt you such a poor hand, and your father never left and supported you in everything you did, but you can't accept that because you're an emo jerk who can't let anything good happen in your life. So why don't you do something constructive that you can feel proud of rather than wasting countless hours on the internet looking for sympathy. And having said all this, the best advice my dad gave me was, "Don't cry over anything that you can fix. Get off your cross, use the wood to build a bridge and get over it."
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on July 15, 2008All stop signs have a white border around them...does that make all stop signs optional? Why bother putting up an optional stop sign? Nobody would stop. And those who did would get hell from the people behind them.
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on July 15, 2008there are two rules to driving 1. stay between the lines 2. don't hit anything
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on July 15, 2008If you choose to look at a woman's skirt put your foot on the brake
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on July 28, 2008Always watch out for the other person
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FlagFrom Anonymous
Commented on July 14, 2009My dad just says " your underagge, and I'm drinking.....if we get pulled over...you stole it, cuz I'm runnin" also "if a deer jumps out in front of you, do t swerve and kill us...kill that dumb !@"
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